I was born in a Christian family so every conversation or topic about God was mediocre to me. We go to church every Sundays and I get to memorize a verse each week to claim a prize the following mass/service; that was all religion to me– You do good so you won’t spend your life after death in the “lake of fire” aka hell.
“Have Courage and Be Kind.”
It was year 2014 when my world collapsed in front of my eyes.
It was when I died.
I am a happy go lucky person and a carefree sense type of a girl. I don’t care so much on the things around me. I don’t care about what others think about me. I don’t overthink the things I know I shouldn’t but only in a flick of a finger, it all changed.
“To have failed is to have striven, to have striven is to have grown.”
― Maltbie Davenport Babcock
Strong. Brave. Successful. Optimist. Powerful. I never considered myself as these. I experienced waking up in 3 am, breaking down, crying myself to sleep because of the things people around me would never understand. I experienced hiding in the bathroom, crying to myself so that no one will hear my wail. I experienced the ache of suppressing my tears in order to act normal in front of the people who hurt me. I experienced it all and I know, you do too.
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve always loved swimming. My mother once told me that in just a-couple-of-months old, they can already leave me alone in the pool because I’ve already learned to swim in such a young age. They would compare me to a mermaid since there’s not a week before that I would spend without visiting the pool.